morganphillipsland

5 fun things that might happen to you when you go to your office job despite having the flu and a fever:

1. Someone will come to you and say, “I gave you access to 27,” and you will have no idea what that means.

2. The <$10 store-brand thermometer you buy at the corner CVS will tell you that your temperature is 95.2 degrees fahrenheit, which you will decide is probably incorrect.

3. The nice guy at the news kiosk where you buy your canned coffee drink will ask you, “Did you buy this yesterday?” It will become clear that there was a price-related incident with a similar looking person buying a canned coffee drink the day before, and the similar looking person may have been rude about it. You will feel the need to explain that it definitely wasn’t you, because you were at home, sick. In order to not sound so snippy about it you will clarify, “But I probably would have bought it, if I hadn’t been sick.” You will both laugh, and neither of you will be sure why.

4. You will lose faith in Theraflu, and wonder if your appreciation for real citrus fruits has been tainted by repeated exposure to “citrus flavored” medicines over the years.

5. You will worry that you are mentally over-hyping the warm blankets that await you at home. Yes, they will be warm, and you will feel better lying under them than you do sitting at your desk. But let’s not build them up to be something they aren’t. Cozy-miserable is better than miserable-miserable, but not as good as cozy-cozy.

NOTHING IS BETTER THAN COZY-COZY.