morganphillipsland

I’ve been doing improv comedy for 15 years now, and I’m still deeply in love with it. Been meaning to write a heartfelt essay about that. Maybe I’ll get around to it soon. In the meantime here is my battle plan for this weekend, the 11th annual Del Close Marathon of improv. Published for the semi-edification of future generations (and current stalkers).

(For those keeping score: six hours of improv class and twenty improv shows, bookended by a movie and a concert.)

ANGELIKA
Fri 3:10pm Paper Heart

HUDSON GUILD
Fri 6:30pm Monkeydick
Fri 7:00pm Mantziggle(?)

URBAN STAGES (Alternate)
Fri 6:45pm Bastian

TRIPLE CROWN BASEMENT
Fri 8:00pm The Belmonts

MAGNET
Fri 10:00pm Made-Up Musical

[Get "one" drink, go home and sleep.]

SIMPLE STUDIOS
Sat 11:00am “Power Improv Scenes” w/ Mark Sutton
Sat 2:00pm “Power Improv Characters” w/Joe Bill

[Go home, sleep.]

HUDSON GUILD
Sun 12:30am Super CageMatch

URBAN STAGES
Sun 1:45am Panama
Sun 2:15am West Village Brunch
Sun 2:45am WUCB – Live Radio in the dark
Sun 3:00am Uncle Moe’s
Sun 3:15am Convoy
Sun 3:30am Leslie, Lennon and Molly: Redux
Sun 3:45am C,C&C Improv Factory
Sun 4:00am Outlook Of The Poet
Sun 4:15am Hot Sauce
Sun 4:30am Five Dudes
Sun 4:45am Improvisosos Peligrosos
Sun 5:00am Blind Harold
Sun 5:15 Stir the Sauce
Sun 5:30am Can I Talk To You For A Second?

[Go home, sleep.]

HAFT AUDITORIUM
Sun 8pm ASSSSCAT 3000

SPIKE HILL
Sun 10pm Thin Skin Jonny

I’m leaving for Paris on Wednesday, April 15th. I’ll be returning on Thursday, April 23rd. This is your last chance to say, “Hey Morgan, be sure to do X,” or, “Hey Morgan, watch out for Y.” (Where X and Y equal crazy French stuff.)

Here’s a list of what I’m most excited about:

A confession: I’m slightly frightened. This is the first time I’ll be truly on my own in a foreign country. My (semi-fluent) sister will be meeting up with me eventually, but for the first few days I will be entirely by myself, with no phone and limited internet access, and a vocabulary of approximately 100 random French words.

I’m generally super-brave (ask anybody), so it’s kind of fun to feel intimidated by something; to plunge into the somewhat-unknown.

Bring it, France.

Facebook has suggested that I “friend” the guy who used to push me around every day after school when I was in the 6th grade. I remember the bullying as going on for a few months, so by applying the principle of Misremembered Dramatic Time Distortion I can assume that it was actually closer to two weeks.

He was in the 7th or 8th grade, and significantly larger than me. The routine went like this: The school day would end, I’d go to the bike rack to retrieve my Schwinn Stingray, the bully would push me to the ground, I’d completely ignore him, and then I’d ride home.

I’m proud of my eleven year-old self for intuiting that a lack of reaction would frustrate the bully. I was too intimidated to fight back, and I didn’t want to go the “look at the little baby go running to the teachers” route.

Unfortunately, my strategy was flawed. All the bully wanted was to see me cry, and he was willing to continue the attacks for as long as it took. I can say this with confidence, because after several months (two weeks), I finally broke down and started sobbing. He never bothered me again.

If I could do it all over again, I’d politely ask him to stop. Then, when he refused, I’d hit him in the side of the head with my Kryptonite bike lock over and over again until he died.

Not that I’m still carrying around any negative feelings about it, or anything.

Thanks for reminding me, Facebook!